"Beloved of the Pack" was hard to write, like cut out 17,000 words, change the point of view of the whole first half of the book hard... But now that it's done, I have a lot of cut-scenes? I had to put them on different pages since some of them are like 6k.

Cut scene #1 - The Blowjob That Never Was

& There was that one time where they tried to have sex without talking. It did not go great but there’s a blowjob and feelings.


He kissed Josh's neck and then his collarbone and Josh's fingers on his arms loosened their hold after a moment so he could keep going south. He pushed Josh's shirt up, uncovering his nipples and flicking his thumbs at them to make him gasp.

And then he was on Josh's belly, flat and hard and with a trail of dark blonde hair thickening as it went down. Ray kissed him softly and his shoulder pressed against his lover's cock, making him thrust hard enough Ray had to dig his fingers in to stay in place.

“Sorry,” Josh gasped from above him. “Just...”

Ray paused, glancing up but Josh was shaking his head. “No, just... sorry. I'm... please?”

He was beet red and his eyes were shining with desperation. For a moment, Ray wondered what it’d take to make him beg.

But it wasn't the right time. He unbuttoned the jeans, making sure to touch as little as possible and then unzipped him. His scent was overwhelming from this close, salty and thick and Ray knew what he'd taste like but he'd never got to look at a man's face as he made him fall apart this way. That was new, he reminded himself.

Josh had his elbows under him and was watching Ray like nothing else in the world existed in that moment. It was a heady feeling. He could… He bent his neck just enough to brush his lips against the cotton of Josh’s boxers and a full body shiver went through the man under him, a moan half bitten down on that seemed to go all the way down to Ray’s bones. He did it again, a little more firmly and Josh whimpered and fell onto his back. He was breathing heavily and the cloth was wet even before Ray gave into his curiosity and pressed an open-mouthed kiss to it.

He startled, raising his head as he heard cloth rip. “Jeans,” Josh hurried to explain and Ray saw that he’d pulled hard enough on the pocket as to half rip it off.

“You want…” He wasn’t sure what he was offering. He didn’t exactly want Josh’s hands on him instead, but…

Josh shook his head and reached for a pillow wedged between him and the side of the sofa and put it under his head to prop himself up. “Hand?” he asked, pupils blown but still so…

Protective. In control.

And it was what Ray needed, but it wasn’t what he wanted.

He didn’t want it to be this hard. He didn’t want Josh to have to make an effort to be with him. But he’d promised. He offered his left hand for Josh take and his friend groaned like holding Ray’s hand was an indescribable relief. Ray used his dominant hand to pull Josh’s boxers out of the way, letting his cock spring free, hard and proud, shining in the low light of the television and almost didn’t feel it as Josh squeezed his hand hard enough to break a human’s fingers.

“Ray,” Josh begged. It hadn’t taken that much, and Ray hadn’t even been trying. “I— Can you…”

And Ray took the head into his mouth just so he wouldn’t say something stupid, or soppy, because how in the moon did Josh manage to remember to make it a request even when… It was warm and silky and it pulsed in his mouth even as Josh crushed his hand and swore. Ray brought his right hand to hold the base and Josh gasped like he was being stabbed. It was easier like that, slurping a little as he learned how to suck without choking, trying to time his breathing so he could stay a little longer, go a little deeper. He lifted his torso and overdid the depth, only his weight seeming to keep Josh in place him and as he pulled back to swallow some of the spit dripping down his chin, his friend’s voice broke on his name. “I… I need to… Can you use your hand?”

Ray glanced up in surprise, half disappointed, half relieved. It wasn’t bad and he liked how good it was for Josh, but he was also a little worried by how long it was taking. Josh was doing his best not to thrust but if Ray’s poor fingers were anything to go by, it was costing him. He nodded and circled his tongue around the head and tightened his grip and brought his hand up at the same time.

Josh couldn’t hold back then and it was fortunate that Ray’s grip on his other hand was firm enough to bring his head up with the movement or he would have choked. Josh forced his hips down again at once, already babbling apologies but Ray didn’t want to hear them, he yanked his hand away and gripped Josh’s hip instead, sucking hard one more time and then bringing his hand up to rub his thumb over the mix of his spit and Josh’s precome. Josh was half bent over him, still talking, when Ray met his eyes and he went completely silent, mouth gaping open and body frozen in place as his orgasm hit him so suddenly his gaze went hazy. Ray was so absorbed with the way his features went slack that he didn’t realise how close he still was as Josh’s cock erupted in his hand. He closed his eyes just in time but no amount of reflexes could get him far away enough from the copious amounts of alpha seed. Some of it got past his parted lips, salty and sticky and strangely, tasting the way Josh smelled. He let go, scrambling to his knees and rubbing his forearm against his eyelids.

His eyes were tearing trying to get it out and he was too confused—going from his lustful powertrip to unexpected pain—to do much good until Josh took hold of his wrists. “Stop, you are just rubbing it in.”

Ray stopped, squeezing his eyes hard and swallowing past the sting.

“You need to wash,” Josh said, and walked him to the closest toilet with his eyes closed, then checked the water was tepid before making him wash his hands and then open his eyes inside his cupped palms.

Ray blinked at him and Josh passed him a hand towel. He looked so regretful he didn’t even need to say anything but he was clearly going to. “Don’t,” Ray asked.

Josh pressed his lips together. “Do you want me to…?” He glanced down Ray’s body.

Ray grimaced, then laughed. “Right now? Not really.” He blinked again, trying to make sure his eyes were really clean and Josh stepped closer and cupped his face, tilting it to the light.

“Look up,” he asked, and Ray followed his instructions until he decided it was enough. “It should feel okay in a few minutes. Or we can get Alec—”

Ray stepped away. “No way in hell we are getting Alec.”

“He wouldn’t—”

“I know he wouldn’t mind. Or he wouldn’t say he minded anyway, even if he was in the middle of getting a blowjob himself. But I’m not telling Gabriel I got come in my eye unless I can’t stand the pain. Seriously, it barely itches.”

Josh’s mouth was twitching a little and Ray gaped at him. “Are you smiling about this?”

“I’m sorry?” Josh asked. “I just—”

“You owe me one,” Ray warned him.

Josh rolled his eyes at him. “Is that supposed to be a bad thing?”

Ray scoffed and shoved him out of the toilet. “Get me some snacks, I’m choosing the movie now.”


©2018 by N.J. Lysk. Contact NJLysk@lostinabook.org if there are any issues.